Sunday, May 04, 2008

Long, long time

Hello sweeties,

I have been unable to write lately as I just get too sad. I feel SO frustrated over not being able to see you. I can't describe it well, but it's sort of like being locked in a closet. Locked in a cage would be unpleasant, to be sure, but you could see and be seen. I feel locked in a closet, where no effort to get out works. No one sees you or knows how miserable you are. I feel like my hands are tied behind my back. I want to see you and hug you SO much. It's impossible NOT to think of you when I see so many little girls that remind me of you two. I'm blowing you kisses right now!

The upcoming Mother's Day will be the third (or fourth- I sometimes get confused over how much time we've been apart)without seeing you or your mom. It's hard to believe that this rift would last this long. I have not given up praying that we will see each other soon, and I also dream of the day when we DO see each other again. I sure wish your mom would realize these are years that can not be recovered. Our family is torn apart and hurting. Maybe your mom is happy without her mom, sister and niece, but we are SO sad, still. I feel I will NEVER recover this great loss. The hole in my heart is SO huge and SO painful. Thank God for Tia and Luna!

We are in Colorado visiting Luna and Tia. In a few days we are going to the Dinosaur Museum! Luna is SO excited. I love being here with her. She just saw the Nancy Drew movie and now Tia is reading her the books- and she loves them! Today Luna and I planted her "bean seeds". I should take a picture and post it for you!

We went to the pet store the other day, to get Cualli a dog tag, and there was this white chihuahua in a car. At first it reminded me of Marshmallow, but when he started barking and growling, he no longer looked like Marshmallow!

I miss you all so very much, I can't write without crying. BIG hugs and kisses to you and your brothers. I love you more than chicken!

Love, Mom Mom