Wednesday, December 06, 2006

No more visits with my granddaughters

Last week we went back to family court to attempt enforcement of a previous grandchildren visitation order. Instead of enforcing the prior order, Judge Rea, Superior Family Court, Phoenix, AZ, ruled that spending time with grandma was a disturbance to my granddaughter's daily activities! He ruled that my daughter had the right to determine whether or not I could see the girls. My daughter made it clear she would not allow me to visit with the girls, so I won't be able to see them for the next 9 years. The oldest girl, Savannah, will be 18 then and I know she will seek me out.

I don't know about you, but I consider grandparents a valuable asset to a child's life. I adored MY grandmother, who became my role model for being a great grandma.

My daughter decided two years ago to punish me for an argument we had, by not allowing me to see my granddaughters. My granddaughters lived with me on and off, and it was I who quit my job to care for Savannah when she was born. I adored her... I loved her before she was born... from the minute my daughter told me she was expecting.

My daughter came home to live then, back in 1997, because her boyfriend did not want the baby. She was distraught, but I told her she had a home with us and we would help her.

Help her we did. She eventually got back with the boyfriend and went on to have a second daughter, Mari. I loved caring for them during the day. I loved them so much. As they grew, we baked and cooked together, took walks and trips to the park, read lots of books, painted. We even set up an ant farm together. We had wonderful times.

Savannah asked me many times over the uears would I promise to always be near her. I promised, and always meant it.

Now that I am unable to call or visit, it is likely they will move far away, with no contact. No one knows what the internet will be like in 9 years, but I'm hoping I can express my feelings here, and maybe one day she will find her Mom Mom online!

I am SO broken hearted. Worse is the fact that my daughter and her husband (yes, they married a year ago... more on that in a later post) called two times when they received their copy of the judge's ruling. We had not gotten our copy till Wednesday. My daughter and her husband got theirs on Monday or Tuesday. We received two calls from them gloating over how they had won, and we lost everything.

My grandchildren's parents think they won, and we lost. While they did win, the biggest losers were my sweet grandchildren, who love us and want to see us.

My daughter broke my heart, with what felt like a sledgehammer. She did not have to hurt the kids too. She does not realize what she has done to the entire family, as she will not allow her children to see or speak to her own sister or niece! My daughter is taking delight in having ripped out my heart.

Since I received Judge Rea's ruling today, my life will never be the same. I have already suffered major depression the past two years, and this is a major setback. Blue Wednesday, Dec. 6, 2006. I miss my sweethearts already and am in total mourning.

I'm not a prolific writer, but will attempt to write often. From here on out, my posts will be addressed to Savannah and Mari, my beloved granddaughters, for whom I would give my life.
I used to laugh at grandparents like me, till I too became a doting grandparent.

I love them more than chicken.

2 comments:

Grandma A said...

Oh you have no idea how sorry I am for you. Mostly because I know how it feels. Before I went through this myself, I would have just assumed there was a reason for your daughter to keep her children from you. I know better now! My middle daughter left me on her 18 th bday for her MUCH older BF. They live with his mother (hes mommys boy). We tried to mend things with her and her BF and things seemed to be ok even after she got pregnant. We were so excited about the birth of our grand-daughter, but soon found out her BF had different plans when he didn't call us when my daughter went into labor. My motherly intuition told me she was in labor and found out through hospital patient info. It seems like he's trying to punish us for trying to keep them apart when she was just 16 and he was well inot his 20's. She would bring the baby over for holidays and every now and then during the day at first, but now I haven't seen then in 4 months. It hurst so much that it seems unbarable at times. I miss them so much!!!!!!!!! Like you said, just hold on an your grand-daughters will come looking for you.

Manuel said...

You know you said you wish she wouls never feel the pain she put ypu through but the Bible says we reap what we sow. I have no idea why my daughter just stopped talking to me last October, at that time my grand daughte was only 16 months old. The last I saw her she was 5 months old. My daughter found me and her brothers and sisters praying together with the baby, she grabbed the baby from my arms and told me that was the last time i will ever see her. She knew I have been a Christian for 18 years, I see no crime in my actions, I apologised to her and promised her I will never do it again. I wrote her several cards, notes letters to no avail. Inasmuch as it hurts deeply, I refuse to get bitter, every so often I let her know I love her and my granddaughter. God is awesome, you never know what may happen one day, do not give up. Pray for them